Here's my GoFundMe page that's offering exactly that. Not only will you get to work with me on creating 'you' inside a story, but the whole thing will be written around you, to your spec. Then the ebook will be dedicated to you and you'll be immortalised alongside Dusty the Demon Hunter - or Sentinel Exemplar if you prefer.
Please also consider joining me on my Thunderclap - donate a Tweet, just one - or a Facebook post - please, I need 250 people to make it through.
I know full well how exceptionally lucky I am to be able to write my stories. I also know that I'm so very fortunate to have such a strong and loyal group that support and encourage me.
Whenever I look at my Facebook pages and see the well-wishes, the likes and shares on my posts, I smile.
Yes, I'm aware that my aim and posting about it is going to get on people's nerves and for that I'm sorry - it's not going to be forever though, just a month or so.
Let me tell you about what I hope for my career.
My dream is to write from a little stone cottage out in the middle of nowhere where my dogs can run around the large garden without me being fearful for their safety, either because they escape or because the neighbour has taken a dislike to them. I'll sit on the sunny patio and drink my coffee while I tap away on the laptop. The characters that are fighting for a prominent place at the forefront of my mind at the moment will take their turn to voice their story (some hopes) and the stories will flow - endlessly cascading onto the screen of my computer to be turned into books that will delight and enthrall.
OK, enough of the 'dream' let's get on to another unlikely scenario - not quite utopia but close enough.
Someone sees my campaign and reads my books because of it. That person is ludicrously wealthy and has a few hundred grand to spare. They drop the few hundred grand off at my campaign and my worries are over, I pay off EVERYTHING and never need to worry - well, I'd worry about the electric, I need that to work so I can get the stories uploaded... I'd also like food too, but you get the picture. Trev would potter about the place, finishing the jobs he's never quite got around to, we'd take the dogs for walks so I get to at least sample the view of the countryside and life would be rosy. The stories would flow, the characters would introduce new creations to my mind - perfect.
Next best thing? Well, that would be the campaign taking off, my books getting a bit more publicity and start selling enough to keep us in this house. Actually, that's not just 'the next best thing' - it's really all I want. I don't like asking people to help me with handouts, that's why I created the rewards - to give something for the donation. I don't like asking for help, I never have. I know my stories are good. I know the characters work. The trouble is getting people to take that chance on reading them in sufficient numbers to gain traction for my writing.
For my writing to pay the bills and pay for food for the animals (and us too) would actually be up there with that first scenario - I wouldn't need the stone cottage and unlimited view of wide open countryside, I can make that happen inside my head. I wouldn't really like for someone to drop hundreds of thousands in cash in my lap, I'd always feel I owed far more than I could ever repay (I already owe far more than I can ever repay to everyone that has helped me so far).
For my stories and my characters to go running off to the masses would be simply awesome for me. An honest day's work for an honest day's pay is enough, I would be satisfied, I'd be contented and I'd be so gracious and grateful my head would spin!
So which of the scenarios is most likely?
Well, the last one is always likely, but on some days (most) it seems just far enough out of reach as to be unattainable.
Will I give up? Hell no! I'll only stop dreaming when I'm dead - perhaps.