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Procrastination or just plain scared to write again?

22/2/2019

1 Comment

 
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Just in case you didn't already know, I've been ill for a while and therefore, I've not been writing.

I've been easing myself back into it with a start on editing Deadlier Than The Male (again) and posting the edits on Steemit. I've also been sharing the court case I've been going through.

During the months I've been ill, I have watched a LOT of television and I've crocheted many lovely things.

Yesterday, I packed up most of my yarn, tidied the living room and decided I need to get back to writing.

Here's the kicker.

I think I've been away from writing for so long that I'm scared to start it up again.

I've looked at a few of the 'Bestsellers' on Amazon and truthfully, I think I can do better.

So how do writers get a publishing deal when their writing needs so much doing to it? - Wow, that sounds bitter.

Anyway...

I've had my breakfast, sorted out the animals and I can settle down to write, but I'm putting it off, I'm thinking about tidying up some more, starting a fire, doing other little bits and bobs and avoiding the real issue.

This is the first step? Knowing there's a problem...

I have ideas running around in my head and I can't bring myself to write them down and I just know that's the best way to lose them. I'm lost, I'm stuck and I feel really vulnerable.

1 Comment
Catherine
22/2/2019 02:39:29 pm

Oh wow, can I ever relate to this, because I'm feeling the same way. I took months off writing because I couldn't put two thoughts together coherently. Posting my writing on Steemit was getting so frustrating, because I wasn't getting any feedback; and I felt like I was just taking up space and no one cared whether I was there or not. I'll never give up writing because it's such a huge part of who I am - but, like every other writer, I need to know I'm being read and appreciated. I felt huge pressure to perform - pressure I put on myself, and pressure from friends who expect (and deserve) high quality writing from me. I still feel all those things; and too often I wonder if I've already done my best work and there's just no more. The only suggestion I can make is ... when you have a thought, an idea, even just a bunch of words or phrases, write them down anyway and save them somewhere - you never know when one of those ideas is going to be the instigator of a new work; and if you don't write them down, they are lost forever. I had two phrases I'd written down almost a year ago and then left them to gell. Although I never used the exact words, the thought behind them turned out to be my first new poem for 2019. I have snippets of so many others; and hope to be able to draw on them to get me back into the writing mode this year - but I'm trying not to put so much pressure on myself this time. I need to let it flow naturally, in it's own time. Wishing you all the best, dear friend - and know that you are definitely not alone! xox

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